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u can check the scroll slider on the right for the position on the page

chronological order is from the bottom to the top of the page

god

fuck

off

you

stupid

bastard

i

used

to

think

years

ago

there

was

some

end

but

there

always

is

a

s

far

to

go

as there

has been

done

hildegard

of

bingen

had

fibromalgia

and

migraine

penance

enough!

my

use

of

english

is

mutative

when

i

write

i

mutate

it

where

the

crowds

are

god

is

not

sai

baba

mother

meera

specialists

in

sickly

sweet bullshit

she's

not

wilting violet

that's

for

sure

quite

an

orator

guru's

toxic

frauds

attracting

toxic

frauds

“ birds

of

a feather

flock

together ”

thats

got

me

worried

;o)

there

are

people

around

that

if

you

help

them

use

their

improved

condition

to

kill

you

children

spouses

complete

strangers

bosses co-workers

friends

aquaintances

they

want

to

do

it

and

can't

help

themselves

celibacy

was

always

an

issue

in

medieval

covents

more

so

than

monastries

i

think

ug krishnamurti is the only indian  guru  who ever made any sense.

the rest are self stimulators on the make

i liked hildegard von bingen's  music

but the visions don't really appeal to me

i don't think semantic maps well to the overt visual space

of

visions

sometimes

you

get

a

bad

situation

and

you

have

to

salvage

what

you

can

and

reverse

what

is

necessary

or

just

move

forward

female

suicide

attempts

are

almost

never

successful

and

they

often

end

up

with

liver

damage

from

the

overdose

the

female

has

a deeper

need

for

love

than

the

male

can

supply

baited

traps

displaying

their

wares

look

at

me!

buy

and

another

cycle

begins

theres

something

about

everything

i

cannot

figure

a

nothing

tale

dragged

in

by

an

empty

vat

to

be

filled

and

replete

with

poison

the

bible

is

itself

a

fractal

spun

out

of

isaiah

men

are

never

quite

prepared for

women

or

even

slightly

to

be

honest

politics

has

become

more

south

american

where

the

difference

between

the parties

is

pretty

nominal

and

its

more

about

who's

in

power

men are blinded

to

seeing

their

true

role

in

reproductive

life

that

of

slave

its

not

that

i can't

say

it

since

i

have

i

presume

you

mean

its

not

a

justifiable

inference?

my

view

of

people

now

is

they

will

claw

your

eyes

out

while

telling

you

how

good

it

is

for

you

if

one

completely

abandons

any

overview

how

is

it?

love

is

one

factor

in

a

relationship

and

not

the

overriding

one

what

is

the

overriding

one?

children

their

absence

presence

or

potential

teenagers

all

hormones

no

brains

why

do

men

have

to put

up

with

so

much?

early

evening

golden

light

a

long

shadow

mowing

the

lawn

thats

my

life

: o )

some

states

of

being

you

can

only

reach

with

experience

let

everything

collapse

let

the

world

collapse

let

the

universe

collapse

let

the collapsing

collapse

:o)

goodness and truth are phantoms

i never understood dylan because you can't hear the words when he sings, but if you look at the written lyrics he's quite poetic and coherent

vision of johanna    video

its truth there is nothing arrogant in truth

truth is neither kind nor cruel arrogant or otherwise really its just as is irrefutable altho human doesn't like that idea Lol

eileen

one of the problems with medicine is the length of time it takes anything to work through the teaching schools, 20 years is the norm and doctors don't change until what they are taught is different

all

this

takes

so

much

thinking

that

sometimes

i

hardly

have

time

to

eat

and

sleep

visions

are

synthetic

they

are

constructed

or

they

are

a

pulling

aside

of

the

curtain?

akiane/vallatton    video

sometimes

this

writing

crushes

me

like

an

aluminium

can

i

am

feeling

totally

crushed

and

destroyed

lack

of

sleep

actually

maybe

its

not

the

writing

maybe

it

is

even

dogs

have

visions

who

knows

what

the

quality

is

bones

humans

predators

shaking

prey

its

a

natural

mode

of

thought

visions

are

one

of

the

most

intense

human

activities

we

call

it

dreaming

they

are

a claim

for

favoured

status

which

may

or

may

not

be

true

better

to

keep

it

to

yourself

you

know

visions

are

a

minefield

either

you

accept

them

as

literally

true

or

you

don't

both

instances

create

trouble

we

are

not

a

single

being

but

a

multi

intelligence

symbiote

another

map

of being

would

show us

as

vast

semi

entities

just

because

something

is

synthetic

doesn't

mean

its

invalid

its

the

degree

and

nature

of

the

alignment

that

matters

i

think

you

have

to

be

doomed

not

once

but

twice

to

do

this

sort

of

thing

the

human

frame

is

so resilient

evidence based clinical

practice

guidelines

are

not

what

works

best

they eliminate

practical

experience

intuition

and

ancedotes

how can it be the best?

medicine

is

all

about

after

the

event

and

blithely

steps

over

before

gay  magazine

it takes that blend of female exhibitionism to make the ultimate male

in fact if you look at the face

he

looks

a bit

frail

just about every body

builder

i have seen

the face and body

are

different

worlds

the

female

“queen

of

the

dung

pile”

syndrome

i

have

got

a bit

jaundiced

with

my

views

of

the

species

over

the

years

behaviorally

we

are

like

chimpanzies

i would have said

apes

except

i think

gorillas

are

more

nicely

behaved

great

men

are

easily

offended

is

that

because

they

are

great

or

less than great?

only

an

idiot

would

claim

they

are

a master

personally

i

am

a

master

of

nothing

is

the

novelistic

form

doomed

the

net

is

so

fragmented

it

induces a hyper intense add

i think thats why a lot of prodigies never do much in later life they get it pruned out of them

they actually have to rebuild after the neural prunings and most don't

rather like a soprano losing his voice and never recovering that sweet clarity again

timeless is like a hell of a rough road

you are talking to someone then suddenly they start mirroring your own expression, its a very definite and freaky thing

its only happened three or four times in my life

its a very aggressive action by women

maybe only some have this skill

writing

is

like

a disease

this

linear

style

of

writing

is

to

make

each

word

sink

in

child

prodigies

are

illustrative

of

a

truth

often

lost

on

adults

that

children

are

more

intelligent

than

adults

i'm going too fast

blood thickening

is

usually

a problem

as

you

get

older

its

far

better

to

go

into

old

age

a

bit

thin

than

fat

what

do

marilyn

munroe

mother

teresa

hitler

and

st

thomas

aquinas

have

in

common

“the

hunting

of

the

snark”

i

asked

this

on

a message

board

once

and

was

surprised

when

some-one

came

up

with

the

right

answer

he

knew

more

than

any

zen

master

bunch

of

frauds

surprisingly

i

don't

include

john

of

the

cross

or

teresa

of

avila

in that

list

eileen asks :

wot do u mean by those four u named as having in common the hunting of the snark?

my

reply :

its actually difficult to explain

those four were snarks who were not boojums

john of the cross and teresa of avila were snarks who were boojums

the hunting of the  snark

don't

be

afraid

to

bite

death

occasionally

it

doesn't

hurt

when

i

see

the

ghosts

of

ants

i'll

believe

in

ghosts

a

belief

in

ghosts

is

not

harmless

it

affects

your

ability

to

go

about

at

night

or

be

in

spooky

situations

with

good

playing

of

music

you

can

hear

it

the

way

it

was

composed

bach

ilia  kramarik

7 years old

and saying alot of things i am saying

one or

two

almost exact

makes

me

feel retarded

:o)

the mystical birth

of

the woods

and trees

putting

little

steps

in

place

for

the future

theres

a

simple

philosophical

position

on

life

that existance

occurs by virtue

of

its

removal

from

or

denial

of

non

existance

or

god

if

you

will

everything

follows from this

i

have

lost

touch

with

the

ordinary

world

i

seem

to

want

to

go

back

i

don't

think

i

can

go

back

now

i

stop

writing

i

can

hear

the

rain

and

the crickets

and

see

the

frog

what

my

brain

can

do

or

it

can't

do

the

sweet

mystery

of

the

night

humans

are

an

estrangement

from

god

they

construct

their

own

little

buildings

and

then

say

this

is

god

child

prodigies

are

a

construct

just

the

raveings

of

a madman

i

think

if

i

could

stop

writing

i

would

a pointless

perseveration

the problem

with

child

geniuses

is

they

peak

too young

i

think

if

they

peak

that

young

they

have

to take

templates

and

have

lost their

identity

when

you

are

younger

you

are

under

the

illusion

that

things

terminate

nothing

ever

terminates

easily

the

most

difficult

literary

job

is

that

of

a

translator

content

to

be

second

fiddles

in

an orcestra

their

praises

should

ring

louder

than

that

of

the

conductor

for

in

fact

they

are

conductors

you

can

get

beaches

but

you

can't

get

youth

i

don't

want

to

get

into

disputation

i

am

tired and

as i

get

older

i

just

can't

be

bothered

arguing

people

are

born

wrong

minded

live

wrong

minded

and

die

wrong

minded

if

you

accept

popularity

is

not

an

indicator

of

quality

and

there

can

be

an

inverse

relationship

things

look

different

st

catherine

of

alexandria

was

really

Hypatia

a

philosopheress

who

was

anti christian

and scourged to death with oyster shells

by some

monks

religion

is

toxic

swill

very self centered

those types are all for others sacrificing themselves for them

well having written hundreds of thousands of words

in message board posts

all i can say is not to worry about them,

they just pass into the eternal rubbish bin anyway

just post to suit yourself or extend your understanding

full

stop

autistics

can

sound

articulate

until

their

last

breath

god

i

just

can

go

on

writing

forever

stop!

stream

of

conciousness

does

a

stream

ever

stop

no!

well

they

dry

up

but

this

isn't

it

pours

out

faster

than

i

can

write

rumi!

there

is

of

course

no

writer

or

transcriber

the

weirdness

of

53

and

many

years

spent

gaining

skills

i

can

now

do

way

more

than

can

ever

be

done

i

weep

and

am

crucified

this

horrible

region

of

writing

beyond

what

can

be

published

pessoa!

no

wonder

you

wrote

so

much

i

think

the

intent

of

libel

law

is

too

permit

artistic

freedom

of

expression

while

preserving

the

right

of

those

who

deserve it

to

a

good

name

what

i

write

is

artistic

freedom

of

expression

with

the

odd

hanging

of

scumbags

the

problem

with

clinical

trials

is

they

are

geared

to

just

one

variable

a

drug

or

placebo

it

tells

you

a

bit

but

not

much

vioxx!

yeah

falsification

it

is

semi

fictional

a

blurring

of

the

boundaries

between

fact

and

fiction

novelistic

if

you

will

and

true

religion

is

a

meme

how

you

can

shoot

a

prairie

dog

at

400

yards

i

don't

know

synthetic

semi

fictional

crap

what

i

have

written

only

bears

a

partial

resemblance

to

the

living

and

dead

old

men

screwing

young

women

decrepit

senile

sperm

joined

to

some

sort

of

vigour

i guess

they

get

their

genes

in

the

gene

pool

sick

as

they

are

disgusting

old

men

are

repulsive

to

young

women

yes

you

m.

she

cacked

in

the

end

bore

your

child

got

the

dough

and

that

was

it

a

sexless

life

didn't

appeal

all

the

blowsy

shit

your

papers

have

ever

produced

this

is

the

only

real

thing

ever

written

about

you

akiane

kramarik

you

have

compromised

        

god

the

amount

of

writing

i

am

doing

is

frightening

though

its

no

more

empty

and

stupid

than

anything

else

i

have ever

done

done

without

regard

to

success

or

approval

but

for

itself

that

splaying

on

quantum

space

yeah

crucifixion

i

think

aging

is

the

central

fact

of

life

even

before

death

decay

before

death

no

longer

attractive

to

young

females

all

men

go

through

this

a

shattering?

or

bleary

fazement

unless

you

have

heaps

of

money

of

course

but

even

then

no

attraction

i

write

this

stuff

i

used

to

think

people

thought

it

but

now

i

realise

no

one

thinks

it

what

seems

mad

to

the

world

is

sane

in

gods

eyes

its

just

a

form

of

decompression

its

general

and

synthetic

i

hate

you

me

i

am

jesus

false

true?

a

crucifixion

i

suppose

i

broke

my

own

rule

of

criticising

what

i

don't

do

myself

i

think

your

paintings

are

limited

by

a

lack

of

vision

technique

3d

surface

vision

sheen

and

as

i

say

vision

those

eyes

got

scratched

out

by

birches!

i

would

suggest

you

go

back

to

listening

to

britney

spears

like

you

i

just

paint

with

words

what

comes

akiane

kramarik

the

oddness

of

the

transplantation

and

resurrection

of

a

new

form

of

russian

orthodox

iconography

kitsch

american

sincere?

or

flakey?

must

be

genetic

akiane

kramarik

if

you

really

believed

in

god

you

wouldn't

need

music

while

painting

i

am

now

scared

to

read

philosophy

because

i

then

spend

the

next

two

or

three

days

decompressing

it

in

homilies

and

poetry!

i'd

rather

work

up

handloads

for

shooting

or

mow

the

lawn

or

put

the

wood

away

paranoia

seeks

a

subject

women

in

love

are

frightening

da

de

de

da

da

da

da

snake

can

hear

me

if

its

there

beware

snake

go

there

people

get

their

deserts

wether

they

are

just

or

not

i

can't

say

the

disembodied

marriage

is

this

happening

to

me?

tasmania

the

land

were

time

stood

still

you

can

come

to

this

two

ways

as

a

child

and

as

an

adult

as

a

child

it

is

more

simple

natural

and

pure

as

an

adult

it

is

more

confounded

and

you have

to experience

a

lot

i don't think

the involvement

is

going

to

be

like

the

old days

what you say is helpful to me

i tend to forget

that

side

infinity

the

quantum

space

of

potential

is

one

way

of

looking

at

it

the

way

of

life

is

things

are

barely

sufficient

to

survive

but below

sufficient

is

the

norm

my poetry

built in

agony

existance

is

in

denial

of

nonexistance

thats

the

nature

of

what

it

all

about

if

you

say

this

sort

of

thing

don't

expect

to

be

well

treated

life

is

a

denial

of

death

is

another

way

of

putting

it

what

is

the

point

of

centrality

if

the

sea

were

fresh

water

what

then?

a

theme

of

ingratitude

and

gratitude

denial

is

intrinsic

to

the

human

condition

it

continues

forever

more

eternal

than

the

universe

its

like

riding

two

horses

at

once

they

were going

in two

different

directions

you can't

argue

wether

god

exists

or

not

because

god is

prior

to

existance

and

actually

god

is

prior

to

god

existance

exists

by

virtue

of

its

denial

of

non

existance

thats really

what

the

previous

homily

is

about

all

human

life

reflects

this

if

you

really

know

what

you

are

on

about

it

will

be

ignored

or

vilified

if

you sorta

half

know

what

you

are

on

about

it

will

be

plagarised

if

you

don't

know

what

you

are

on

about

it

will

be

praised

to

the

skies

physics

is

about

matter

space

time

it is

not

about

the

nature

of

ideas

there

can

be no

theory of everything

from

physics

its

a

contradiction

HAH!

dealing

with

the subject

matter

of

philosophy

with

prose

is

like

trying

to bend

an

iron

bar

with

your

hands

death

is

absence

the

only

point

is the

point

of

that

which

we

see

what

is

the

“ one ” ?

of

philosophy

nonsense

i

wish

it

was

nonsense

its

more

tainted

sense

films distort

ones

sense

of

reality

at

some

point

you

just

have

to step

back

from

philosophy

and

get

on

with your life

theres

no

money

in

it

but

there

is

intellectual

interest

benefit

and wisdom

how

do

you

balance

the

two?

i

don't

know

from

a

philosophical

point

of

view

people

take

the

wrong

approach

to

health

they

are

looking

for

magic

when

what

they

should

be

doing

is

building

skills

they

just

want

to

wave

a wand

and

everything

is

fixed

and

they

will

pay

well

for

it

which

is what medicine does

to

the

extent

it

works

poetry

subsumes

philosophy

what

it

doesn't

subsume

is

common sense

or

poetry

philosophy

is

a

use

of

language

poetry

uses

language

the

finger

nail

beds

are

a window

into

circulation

the

night

comes

to

wipe

the

day

“ what

is

language ”

i

just

look

at

the

recursion

its

also

language

its

fruitless

just

goes

around

and

around

in

circles

they

think

the

world

is

over

benign

everything

is

there

in

packages

for

them

to

use

humans

are

terminal

freeloaders

cargo

cultists

theology

is

schizophrenia

lets say

theres

something

undifferentiated

behind

the

phenomenal world

the

point

of

religion

at its

best

and

certainly

not

at

its

worst

is that there is a fragmentary

unity

between

what is undifferentiated

and

the

phenomenal world

and

i think

heidegger

at

least

was

saying

there

is

this

unity

generally

with

philosophy

they

are

struggling

to

represent

incoherence

in

a

coherent

space

they

make

mistakes

without

learning

from

them

i

think

sense

and

nonsense

is

prior

to

every

other

semantic

sense

and

nonsense

is

permeated

through everything

you start

out

thinking

people

are

rational

in

their

approach

to health

but

they

are

not

rational

they

are very

primitive

in

their

approach

magical

what

is

a

mistake

and

what

is

not ?

what

is

getting

it

right?

the

worst

type

of

manager

is

deceptively

competent

but

fundamentally

incompetent

you

may

wonder

if

theres

any

other

type

these

days

i

am

the

real

thing

nobody

wants

to

know

me

        heideggers last seminar/ parmenides

'the presence: presencing itself resonates through the happening disclosure of encircling unconcealedness'

i think by presencing he means being splayed on quantum space which is where good poems come from

encircling unconcealedness is a variation of infinity

  parmenides

he

wrote this poem 2500 years ago

nothing new under the sun

  heideggers    translation

philosophy

kills

everyone

associated

with

it

what

is

nonsense

we

look at nonsense from

the

point

of

view

of

sense

but

what

is

nonsense

from

the

point

of

view

of

nonsense?

its

taken

me

a

while

to

appreciate

heidegger

one

of

the

things

he

says

is

the

impossibility

of

good

translations

  parmenides

life

is

an

odd

and

fascinating

thing

theology

is

schizophrenia

but

heidegger

and

schopenhauer

give

useful

insight

on

the

nature

of

reality

sex

makes

women

malleable

for

a

little

while

when

you

want

to

hang

me

step

back

put

the

rope

down

think

why

do

i

want

to hang

him

what

the

arseholes

do

is

try

to

tell

you

the

world

is

nice

while

implying

you

are

an

arsehole

the

world

is

like

that

its

not

necesssarily

wrong

if

its

false

or

is

it?

one

woman

who

kept

telling

me

lies

when

she

said

she

was

telling

me

the

truth

it

stuffs

your

assessment

up

 peoples

good

 opinions

 are

   meaningless

what

is

it?

why

is

it?

where

is

it?

health

health

health

HELLth

heidegger

is

good

a

compelling writer

but

i

don't

really

agree

with

him

schopenhauer

is

better

by

quite

a bit

men

think

women

are

like

houses

with

vacant

rooms

then

they

discover

they

are

occupied

the

slow

breakdown

of

reality

is

inevitable

join

the

army

and volunteer

for death

males

volunteer

for

death

females

volunteer

for death

everyone volunteers

for

death

teaching

is

pretty

soul

destroying

all

that

effort

put

in

and

there

is

no

return

its

a

mental

bankruptcy

in

fact

male

and

female

are

a

different

species

we

are

always

creating

illusory

worlds